Confession of a Mommy-to-be

It is really a surprise! oh well, Allah knows best. and so now I am about 8 weeks pregnant! can you believe it?? I dont. Haha. So since this is my first time having this experience I feel like I should make a journal about it so it can be my reference in future or maybe it can be your reference as first timer. What I am gonna write is wholly my experience..I know nothing much about being pregnant neither do read much on it, so i just go with the flow, do whatever is right. and also i dont just jump into what people say things that should n shouldnt we do during pregnancy, I usually do some search about it and analyze whether or not their sayings is true. i usually trust science and research more 😉

My pregnancy chronology:

1. A week before i was suspected pregnant (14 – 20 May 2012)

a chocolate spot was spotted and i thought it was my period time. so i applied the pad and assumed it was that time of the month. BUT surprisingly, that was the only time the spot was seen and no red liquid was seen either. so i mandi wajib as it wasnt that time of the month yet.

Waking up the next morning, I spotted the chocolate spot again, then did the same thing as the day before but it was another false alarm. so after that i just waited for my actual period schedule to confirm whether it was the time already.

anyway, since i hit puberty, i havent had problems with my period cycle. It has always been on time, if it does change, only for 1 or 2 days, no later than that. so i started to sense something was fishy but just ignored it at that moment.

Oh and on friday that week, I enjoyed my 2 hours weekly futsal with my futsal mates as usual and it was good to be back on the court!

2. During Scheduled Period Time (21- 27 May 2012; period day should be on 23rd)

Oh well, as you can expect it was late on day 1. I still felt fine with it since my period sometimes late 1 or 2 days..or maybe 3. so I hadnt jumped onto the conclusion yet. waited until day 4 and it hadnt come out, i started to freak out and asked my doctor sister about it. she said, oh maybe youre stressed or change of lifestyle make it late a bit. but i told her, as stress as I am, my period hasnt been 4 days late. I wasnt actually planning to have a baby at this time but you know, we only plan, but Allah decides when is the best time. I am not regretting, I was just surprised. and so during that 4 days, there was actually one time that I had a headache like migrain that i thought because of the hot scorching weather. Honestly, I have never had any headache (unless lambat tidur, itu pun minor) before.

I wrote my name as usual for futsal that friday but the headache make me cancelled it at the very last minute. I thought it would be ok after i got home, but i wasnt. So to calm me down, Saiful ‘guasa’ -ed (a chinese massage using bull’s horn piece) my head for few minutes and the headache finally relieved. Then we discussed what was happening but still hadnt gone into the conclusion since there were no other major signs appeared – like vomitting and bloated feeling.

To clarify what was going on, we started asking people who had experience pregnancy before and explain to her what i had felt and they said I was probably pregnant but they advised to test after a week I miss my period.

3. On the Pregnancy Kit Test (24 May 2012)

Saiful bought the most reliable kit at watson to confirm on my pregnancy and the day i peed on the kit was when he had gone to work. I was really nervous not just to wait for the result but to pee on that thing for the first time and i was afraid i would screw it. while waiting for the result, many things running through my mind. if this is it, what should i do next? if it isnt, should i be sad or maybe happy about it? seriously it was the longest few seconds i had to wait. and tadaaaa!!! positive it was..I have the picture but it is in other phone later i will put it here..

I dont know what to feel at that moment. seriously i was just stunned. Then it struck me, now I have a responsibility to bear. a MASSIVE one, not just to bring a human being into this world, but to raise and shape him to be a great person/hamba Allah. I am not denying the fact that I was stunned because I thought I wasnt ready to be a mom, but I was taught to be responsible, so I will take good care of this baby and insyaAllah will raise him as good as I can.

After all those drama in my mind, I text messaged Saiful to inform him the news. And of course he was ecstatic about this and that very evening after i fetched him from work, he quickly brought me to the clinic to reconfirm with the doctor. that time it was only 4 weeks and no heartbeat was heard yet so we had to come the next two weeks.

sidenote:

1. part of i being stunned and surprised i got pregnant because i played 2 hours of futsal (man, i ran up and down the court like nobody’s business), the week before i was confirmed pregnant and jumping (few times) for jumpshots (below) a day before i tested using pregnancy kit. this baby might be a strong kid like his mom 😉

2. next post will be about the symptoms i had during my pregnancy this few weeks which i dont think there’s nothing much but i would say it is different from ive heard from other people.